Well that didn’t take long; a few hours after posting my desire to be a better advocate for my health I got a voicemail from my Digestive Health Clinic. After glossing over my clean biopsy results the nurse wanted to talk to me about a medicine my PA wanted me to take. Riddle me this Batman, how is it that the same PA one week can scare the piss out of you by telling you your liver is having issues and to stop all Tylenol/pain-relieving options, and the next prescribe T3 (Tylenol with Codeine)?
Also, why does adulting for me always require bodily fluid of some kind? Moreover, why do phlebotomists always scoff when I say I am a hard stick? Do they honestly think I am being coy for their benefit? Do they really think I work all day, drive my happy ass in the opposite direction of home and wait in the lobby for my number just to stroke their ego? In the words of my four year old, “How about no?”
Results should take about 12 hours, so hopefully by tomorrow I will have some sort of answer. Though with each new answer I receive, seven more questions arise. Take for instance the exchange I had with my pharmacist. She seemed to be confused about my prescribed “creams;” she said to her knowledge they would cancel each other out. In essence, I get to write yet another portal (online messaging system for GI Clinic) tomorrow, all in the interest of self-preservation I suppose. I dodge doctors’ offices, appointment schedulers, and nurses’ calls like they were damn debt collectors.
If radiology calls me one more time about scheduling my bone density scan I might actually make an appointment! Now wouldn’t that just make the Hydra happy?